Accidentalboutsofcelibacyinasuburbnearthecity's Blog

And then there are some who get it right

Oh the thought processes of a break up! I missed him horribly at first, and then I was on a more even keel…and then we spent some time together and it was as if I was back at square one. You know…where you pretend you’re ‘saying goodbye’ when you’re saying ‘hold me closer/let’s pretend this [...]

Posted at 3:24 am on October 4, 2009 | 2 comments | Filed Under: Uncategorized | read on

I’m not sure how they think it’s a good line…

Call me old fashioned but I do not think any of the following approaches are keys to success in a man’s approach to online dating: – Opening with ‘hey babe’, insisting the person you’re talking to is from another country and getting angry when they say they’re busy – At 45 (or any age really) [...]

Posted at 3:00 am on October 2, 2009 | 6 comments | Filed Under: gender, online dating, random pick up techniques | Tagged: dating, online dating, random pick up approaches, shitty lines, who coaches these men in charm ? | read on

About

Ok, so you can call me ‘Accidental Bouts’ or ‘AB’ for short.

Yes, I find myself sometimes in accidental bouts of celibacy. I do not care for celibacy. Fuck that shit.

Yes, there’s always masturbation…and well of course I do and that’s great. But I like people. I like kissing. I like arms. I like hearing the breathing of another person change in response to my actions…my imagination is pretty good, and I have no problem with amateur porn when my imagination is lazy but for me there’s just not a substitute for anticipation, flirtation, body language, the exchange of looks, foreplay, playfulness, desire and bodies coming together.

So…you know, sex is one component of an active and busy life…but this I guess is about what I do/how I manage when I find myself ‘accidentally’ celibate. I guess I’ll use it to laugh over strange dating experiences, to whinge about random propositions I get (and I do mean random), to discuss the politics of being a woman with a libido and enough desire that if I could find a way to convert it to energy I could disconnect from the electricity grid, to think through ideas of heteronormativity and monogamy and what I think of them, to rant about media representations of gender and sex…and whatever else takes my fancy.